Mart-deBlog

I have been in Leuven for a week and it is about time I report my first impressions. I waited as long as possible with forming a definite opinion because it would not be a good one, but I cannot wait any longer. So, Leuven is a disaster. This week has been a constant tragedy. Leuven is more Dutch than the village I come from, the Dutch culture that I have been trying to get away from has found me and is now punishing me for running away. Leuven has the Dutch pettiness and distance together with a French arrogance, it is really sad. The professors are extremely formal and we have been told serveral times we should never ever address them by their name. The introduction week from the university was a complete failure, being a Dutch speaker, I did not belong in the international erasmus crowd of Spaniards searching for constant fiesta and Chinese being lost in the traffic. I hardly spoke to anyone this whole week, I gave up somewhere in the middle. And then there is my room, for your pleasure: I do not have any heating, I share my shower and toilet with 14 people, this shower by the way is in the kitchen two floors down, and then there is a techno nightclub on the other side of the block so I have to sleep with earplugs almost every night, which also protect me from the bells of the many churches around here. The people of the house act surprised when I introduce myself to them, they silence when I walk past them and continue talking when I am gone. And because I feel so incredibly out of place, other things go wrong. I missed the important information sessions of my faculty where they gave all the important forms and booklets. I got locked in the park where I was reading a book, after which I got scolded at because they thought I climbed over the fences to enter their stupid parkfestival for free. I can go on and on like this, the bureaucracy, the level of my classes, my funding problems. Probably the worst of everything is that Leuven does not inspire me like the other places I have been; give me anything, beautiful nature, a cold city or some cute kind of village life, but Leuven is neither of these, it is confused and my pictures are blurry and boring. Leuven is a shit-hole and I am already desperately working on my applications for next year, to some place far away from here.

Everyone (here in Holland) travels. There is nowadays almost an 'ought to'; when you have spare time, you ought to experience new places, new cultures and new things to do. People are surprised when I tell them that I am not going anywhere this summer. Now I would be stupid saying that travelling is too consumptive, too wasteful or whatnot. I do think that this obligation to travel means something. There are many people that travel for simple relaxation, in which case the journey is a sign that their home is connected with stress. This is a depressive sign, beaches in Turkey full with people who simply want to be away from home, instead of wanting to be there, it could be anywhere else as long as it does not resemble home. This is sad. A beach full of exposed unhappiness, there under the sun, with a cocktail. Then there are those people who are experience addicts, who want to 'live life to the fullest' and crave for intense experiences, adventures and cultural variety. In this case, travelling is a sign of nihilism, cultural relativism and capitalism; these travellers need more and more new experiences, want to collect nice memories before they die and, of course, cultures must all be equally good, so there is more goodness out there. To my sense, there is hardly any meaning in this seemingly 'interested' travelling; merely a superficial conception of learning, of finding one's 'soul' in India. In general it often seems people want to see beautiful things because of a certain emptiness. In any case, all of it shows how fast we get stuck, how fast we give into the (social) obligations and fixed perspectives from which we then want to run away. It is so human, we consume our homes and need to go somewhere else for a little more freedom. Thus I find travelling a little depressive at the moment, seeing in it mass neuroses and cultural meloncholia. And this realization killed my need to go anywhere. Soon I will move again to another country, so I better experience the homely life 'to the fullest', more of an healthy adventure than anything else when I think about it...