Mart-deBlog

As many know, my life is quite possessed by my ambitions, I guess it encapsulates many of my biggest flaws in life. This was the week of my applications, thus of nervous breakdowns, of existential crisis's and sheets of paper throughout my room. I am applying for philosophy masters in Oxford, Cambridge and the Catholic University of Leuven. I am ashamed of telling people about this because - well - these are disgustingly elitist places. I do not consider myself an ivy league student (and that is a compliment to myself), I hate these places where you are not allowed to walk on the grass. But then again, I care about philosophy and it is simply a fact that the philosophy professors of these places are the best and the study by far the most inspiring.
My chances are not too great. I graduated with a Bachelor of Science instead of a Bachelor of Philosophy, thus their obvious problem will be my background. Still I have hopes. I want it so badly, though I realize they are desperate hopes. The University of Leuven would be an interesting place and it is cheap, I am still finishing that application but probably my chances should be highest here compared to the other two.

This might all sound boring but it matters. Imagine, when I chose to study philosophy I chose to spent my whole life with philosophy and I need to somehow secure my future in philosophy. Indeed it is incredibly difficult to get a job in philosophy at a university and the PhD's from ivy league schools take all the few open places, and even they have trouble. In a way, a lot is decided here, if I get rejected, I might stay another year in Berlin and try again next year, I do not know.

Halfway March I will receive the decisions and surely they will be here on my blog together with either black bile and self-torture or glee and Euphoria.